I’m not sure the judging panel understood the story of unrequited love behind the song danced to by @TomFletcher & @dowden_amy last night? I found it eloquent and heartfelt. @bbcstrictly #Strictly https://t.co/5VoWdLrrw7
— Matthew Bourne 💙 (@SirMattBourne) November 21, 2021
I'm watching Mary Poppins.
— Paul Kerensa (@paulkerensa) November 21, 2021
I wanted you to know in case it inspires you to watch Mary Poppins too. It's on iPlayer for a month.
It's still the best thing committed to celluloid, despite this bit, that bit and the other bit. Imperfections, but practically perfect.
— Jon Harvey (@jondharvey) November 21, 2021
“Crisis” pic.twitter.com/5IHlDWiFWB
— Andrew Levi (@AndrewPRLevi) November 21, 2021
Just baptised the munchiest little baby. He slept peacefully throughout having water thrown over him, woke up to applause, looked around as if to acknowledge his fans, then promptly went straight back to sleep.
— Kate Wharton (@KateWharton27) November 21, 2021
I ordered a copy of 'How to Communicate With Deaf People' from Amazon, when the delivery man asked me to sign for it I thought, give me a chance, I’ve not bloody read it yet.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) November 22, 2021
Any idiot can face a crisis. It's this day-to-day living that wears you out.–Chekhov
— Rev’d Professor Maggi Dawn, Ph.D (@maggidawn) November 22, 2021
Breaking: Daddy Pig complains to Ofcom after Peppa and George traumatised by Boris Johnson's speech. pic.twitter.com/hskekooz4q
— The Poke (@ThePoke) November 23, 2021
It does sound quite bad when you put it that way. pic.twitter.com/a1LBbQieMh
— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) November 22, 2021
I sort of hate that 666+444 doesn't equal 1000, and I am aware that that is because I am an idiot
— Dr Clops: Medicine Horse twitch.tv/brainmage (@Brainmage) November 22, 2021
Actual lol https://t.co/xe0Qo7zRG1
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) November 23, 2021
Which one are you? pic.twitter.com/DkVR76KOKg
— Microsoft Teams (@MicrosoftTeams) November 23, 2021
Pigeon open mic night. pic.twitter.com/ziIOlCmUuW
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) November 23, 2021
Loaf is a rollercoaster. #GBBOFinal pic.twitter.com/UJfrg6BPop
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) November 23, 2021
THINGS JÜRGEN CAN BE AFTER #GBBO:
— innocent drinks (@innocent) November 23, 2021
1. Owner of Germany's finest bakery
2. Winnie the Pooh lookalike
3. Our new best friend
4. Creator of a new range of eyebrow gels
5. Santa
6. Literally anything he wants, we'll support him #GBBOFinal
What was the secret to Giuseppe winning Bake Off?
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) November 23, 2021
Great determination, great skills, great perseverance… and MR SPATULA! 😂😂 #GBBOFinal pic.twitter.com/L5iE21qknW
The earliest archaeological evidence of massage dates back to 2330 BC in Ancient Egypt. Massage is still practiced by some small gods to this day. The etymology of the word comes from the French, and means 'friction of kneading'. pic.twitter.com/fWyAJVzN9n
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) November 24, 2021
A tragic airplane moment: we’ve been sitting on the tarmac waiting to take off for two hours. The guy in front of us fell asleep immediately upon boarding, he just woke up and started getting ready to get off the plane – he thought we’d landed. My wife broke the news to him.
— Tom Gara (@tomgara) November 23, 2021
Rod Stewart looks like an unlikely champion for women. But I love that he thinks men should have menopause lessons to understand what their partners are going through, and also learn just to LISTEN.
— Jojo Moyes (@jojomoyes) November 24, 2021
The year is 2074. Every song ever made has had a sad acoustic version of it made for a Christmas advert. There are no more songs to pick from. A fast food chain does a sad advert with a depressing version of the crazy frog song. Help.
— Dave (@davechannel) November 24, 2021
Stayin’ Alive is disappointingly light on actual survival tips when you get down to it.
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) November 24, 2021
Furious George forbids typing of any sort. pic.twitter.com/fovp6CzQmY
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) November 23, 2021
I’m making a ‘life’s too short’ list. It’s the opposite of a bucket list. Here are somethings I will never do:
— Shaparak Khorsandi شاپرک خرسندی (@ShappiKhorsandi) November 24, 2021
1) Ski (WHAT a faff)
2) Celebrate my dogs birthday (dog will think I’m mad)
3) Make a souffles (not sure what one is)
The Italians have won the Eurovision, Euro 2020, the 100m final at the Olympics (as well as being the incredible joint winner in the high jump too)
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 23, 2021
And now .. The Great British Bake Off 2021. #GBBO
Spin off series baking around Europe?! #GBBO #bakeoff #GBBOFinal #Jurgen #Guiseppe pic.twitter.com/rCmnFhoiOj
— Dr Kevin Moore (@doctorkevinmoo1) November 23, 2021
Not migrants. People. That’s all.
— Krishnan Guru-Murthy (@krishgm) November 24, 2021
Do you still call it 4OD even though it is now called All 4?
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 24, 2021
In case you’re wondering, it switched from 4OD to All 4 six years ago.
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 24, 2021
LET’S DO A POLL
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 24, 2021
Adam Woodyatt has been Ian Beale for 70% of his life
— Greg James (@gregjames) November 25, 2021
WHAT SOUTHERNERS ARE WEARING TODAY:
— innocent drinks (@innocent) November 25, 2021
Jumper
Big coat
Socks
Another pair of socks
Scarf
Gloves
Second jumper
Hat
Thermal underwear
Probably another jumper
WHAT NORTHERNERS ARE WEARING TODAY:
A disapproving look at southerners
Maybe a jacket
How to celebrate Thanksgiving as a Brit:
— Dave (@davechannel) November 25, 2021
1. Absolutely not
2. Still don't know what this holiday is to be honest
3. Turkey isn't even that great
4. Just let the Americans be weird with it and get on with your day
Nobody’s first choice is a boat across the cold, dangerous sea.
— Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) November 24, 2021
The government could save lives, if they wanted to, by expanding safe routes for asylum seekers. These deaths are a result of a political choice. https://t.co/jtegMFxUcl
Who should go alongside Christian Bale in America's "I had no idea they were British!" Hall Of Fame?
— Ali Plumb (@AliPlumb) November 25, 2021
This has a fairly major twist in it. https://t.co/N4R9gGmrpR
— Martin Saunders (@martinsaunders) November 24, 2021
Sorted by Popular?
— Paul Kerensa (@paulkerensa) November 25, 2021
Wicked should be first. pic.twitter.com/G5m7rorwRY
Just wait til that MP finds out that Bart Simpson is played by a woman.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 25, 2021
By an absolute accident of birth, we live somewhere without bombs, torture, famine and persecution. Pure accident. Pure privilege. If your response to the death of 31 people in freezing cold waters is “it’s their own fault”, you’re a ghoul.
— Elizabeth Ammon (@legsidelizzy) November 24, 2021
Any company that has tried to entice me with a #BlackFriday deal today by sending me an email using the term ‘Black Friyay’ is dead to me now.
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 26, 2021
When someone said I was as keen as mustard, I took it as a condiment.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) November 26, 2021
Surely this qualifies me for Indefinite Leave to Remain. #Taskmaster https://t.co/42xW2vSxYq
— Desiree Burch (@destheray) November 25, 2021
I shook this at least two hours ago, so I'm hoping it should be ok. pic.twitter.com/mGD6g21qd8
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) November 26, 2021
If I had to share a pizza with any 3 people alive or dead, I'd probably choose the dead ones so I get the Texas BBQ all to myself.#BlackFridayWithDominos ( or maybe Meateor )
— Alf (@whoelsebutalf) November 26, 2021
This is absolutely mad! Brilliant mad. Maybe Night Race BGP? #f1 https://t.co/FPKUcQzed5
— Damon Hill (@HillF1) November 26, 2021
How are we dealing with all this ‘new variant’ talk?
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) November 26, 2021
Here, ITV regrets putting a vital television show outside, in the middle of winter #imaceleb pic.twitter.com/2UR5fwQC5u
— Scott Bryan (@scottygb) November 26, 2021
I’ll tell you who should be replaced by a woman… https://t.co/oyGVT9wJ4i
— Wendy Beech-Ward 🇺🇦 (@wendybeechward) November 25, 2021
On bbc Newsnight Gordon Brown links the emergence of new Covid variant to the global failure to spread more vaccines into the developing world -self defeating and the “ greatest public policy failure” of our time, he says
— MichaelWhite (@michaelwhite) November 26, 2021
In May 1976 after playing 4Pompey at Sunderland,Team bus stopped for fish&chips in Wetherby.All players piled in pub opposite & I was told we don’t serve your kind in here 🤦🏾♂️ last night over 3,000 people turned up to see me put on the Crimbo lights🎄The world is a better place 😊
— Chris Kamara (@chris_kammy) November 26, 2021
This is what the internet is for https://t.co/qZeLE12kFS
— Ali Plumb (@AliPlumb) November 26, 2021
This does sound like the sort of fast action that we should have done with Delta: border control, face masks, self-isolation on contact, more boosters. This is not a lockdown.
— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) November 27, 2021
A Prime Minister so spineless he’s unable to say the words *mandatory face masks* as he announces *mandatory face masks* FFS
— Tom Jamieson (@jamiesont) November 27, 2021
If you haven’t listened to the press conference, firstly I understand. Secondly, I think we can feel positive about action being taken, and we are not in the same position we were last year. There are means of dealing with this. Don’t let your mental health suffer; don’t panic.
— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) November 27, 2021
Ok, mainly worried about her at this stage https://t.co/eJaC5p58dF pic.twitter.com/8NYfK2yPJA
— Chris Sawyer (@ahchrissawyer) November 27, 2021
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?